The Hidden Rules of Success: What We’re Unlearning (And why you might want to, too)

In this episode of Outlaws, Shayla and Kate pull back the curtain on the hidden curriculum—the sneaky, unspoken rules that shape how we define success, worth, and ambition.

From career ladders you never questioned to the belief that being busy means you're important, they unpack the beliefs that ruled their lives (until they didn’t). They share five deeply ingrained "rules" they’re actively unlearning—and how it’s changing the way they work, live, and measure success.

But this conversation goes deeper. They explore what happens when you realise you’ve been performing an identity that isn’t fully yours. The burnout that comes from trying to be palatable, professional, and perfect. The pressure to be “good” at everything, including being human. And the radical relief of asking: what if I just stopped?

💥 In this episode:

• The myth of the ladder: Why climbing higher doesn't always mean going further

• How we confuse busy with worthy (and how to stop)

• The sunk cost fallacy: Why time spent doesn’t have to equal a lifetime commitment

• External validation vs. internal clarity

• The cost of performance: When “doing it all” means losing yourself

• Why redefining success is a radical act—and a necessary one

💡 This episode is for you if:

• You're questioning your career path or life choices

• You've ever felt guilty for not wanting more

• You’ve internalised rules that no longer serve you

• You’re tired of performing an identity just to “fit”

• You’re ready to design success—and your life—on your own terms

🎧 Listen now and start unlearning the rules that were never yours to begin with.

 

Links

Alain de Botton TEDX talk https://www.ted.com/talks/alain_de_botton_a_kinder_gentler_philosophy_of_success?language=en 

 

CREDITS

Hosts and producers: Shayla Strapps and Kate Offer

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